Rules for Self Care
Really, there are no rules for self-care except for to make sure you do it.
It can be so hard to make time for it when you need to constantly be making time for your brand. But it’s imperative to avoid burn out. I remember when Necole Kane first mentioned leaving Necole Bitchie to begin XoNecole, she kept saying that she never took breaks. When she was on planes or traveling, her phone was in her hand and her laptop was in her lap and she was working. If her eyes were open she was working.
Before she knew it, years went by and she had a successful career but she didn’t have much going on in her personal life or her growth as a woman because she never took the time to truly learn who she was outside of work.
That's my nightmare: to work so much that I never look up from my laptop to enjoy life. Life is more than just work, we all need to give ourselves time to breathe. Work will always be there when we come back. There are some days I let myself lay down when I usually wouldn't or when I know I need the rest because it will fuel me in the long run.
You need rest, you need time to let your mind and body reset. If you don’t allow yourself that option, life will find a way to slow you down some way. Go ahead and slow yourself down to avoid it.
Here are things to remember when engaging in self-care:
1. Don’t explain why you’re taking time to yourself
This is my pet peeve. Sometimes you need a nap. Sometimes you want a drink and sometimes you just don’t feel like answering emails for a few days. If they aren’t living in your shoes, then they don’t know when you need to take breaks. Do it whenever it makes sense to you.
2. Take as much time as you need
I’ve noticed people like to put a limit on their self-care.
“I’m just going to take 10 extra minutes in the shower.” Or “I’m getting my nails done on Saturday from 12-2 and then I’m coming home to do work” There doesn’t always need to be a time limit to your self-care. Some of the best self-care practices are spontaneous and end when it feels good to end them. If you need to take a break from a big project to regroup, take what you need to be refreshed and come back. You can come back and not quit.
3. Do what makes you feel good (in moderation depending on what it is)
If it’s window shopping that makes you feel relaxed, then do that. If weekend trips a few cities over helps you to get back in the zone, then do it! If planning a big trip 6 months from now will have a longer lasting effect than a short weekend trip, do it. If all you need is a bowl of ice cream, then eat it. Feeling guilty? Go back to number 1.
4. Do it often
Depending on how you engage in self-care, you should make time for it and do it as often as you can. If burning candles is your thing then make time when you need to release. Don't wait after months or years of stagnancy and burn out have gone by. There are small things you can do every single day- taking breaks to write gratitude sentences, meditating or journaling. Taking 30 minutes to watch your favorite show or taking a walk. All of that counts.
I want us all to stop feeding into the stigma that girl bosses don’t get to take breaks. No, girl bosses who are about their business won’t quit but that doesn’t mean they don’t get to enjoy life. Sleep in a little or get some wine, you deserve it. I’m here to tell you-you deserve it if no one else does.
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